Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Kali ShevlinFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 276 Deviations 27,885 Comments 28,329 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Rocco Rachel by KaliannShevlin Rocco Rachel :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 4 8 Vitas and Orlanda by KaliannShevlin Vitas and Orlanda :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 1 2 Leilani and Tino by KaliannShevlin Leilani and Tino :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 2 2 Uma and Wyatt by KaliannShevlin Uma and Wyatt :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 1 3 Eunice and Maui by KaliannShevlin Eunice and Maui :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 2 2 Ichabod and Sidonia by KaliannShevlin Ichabod and Sidonia :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 2 2 Chui and Heather by KaliannShevlin Chui and Heather :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 1 2 Thief girl: Lila Rossi by KaliannShevlin Thief girl: Lila Rossi :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 6 2 Dreamwalker by KaliannShevlin Dreamwalker :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 4 6 Nicole Gardien by KaliannShevlin Nicole Gardien :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 2 2 Marinette and Adrien at school. by KaliannShevlin Marinette and Adrien at school. :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 4 10 Rachel's Portrait by KaliannShevlin Rachel's Portrait :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 3 7 Ladybug by KaliannShevlin Ladybug :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 4 10 Heka by KaliannShevlin Heka :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 0 8 Peace Keeper by KaliannShevlin Peace Keeper :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 2 6 Miss Martian by KaliannShevlin Miss Martian :iconkaliannshevlin:KaliannShevlin 2 8

Favourites

Zutara Week Day 1 2017- Fire Lady and Lord by LiniAriva Zutara Week Day 1 2017- Fire Lady and Lord :iconliniariva:LiniAriva 31 1 Zutara Week 2017 - Fire Lady Katara by sadladybug Zutara Week 2017 - Fire Lady Katara :iconsadladybug:sadladybug 8 3 NHC: Chapter 223 by mattwilson83 NHC: Chapter 223 :iconmattwilson83:mattwilson83 52 31 SM: Outer Princesses-2 by Kay-I SM: Outer Princesses-2 :iconkay-i:Kay-I 433 13 Britomartis, Goddess of the Nets by lilylionlabyrinth Britomartis, Goddess of the Nets :iconlilylionlabyrinth:lilylionlabyrinth 4 1 NHC: Chapter 222 by mattwilson83 NHC: Chapter 222 :iconmattwilson83:mattwilson83 42 14 Nq-pr Ch16 Order Of The Valkyrie by mattwilson83 Nq-pr Ch16 Order Of The Valkyrie :iconmattwilson83:mattwilson83 19 6 NHC: Chapter 221 by mattwilson83 NHC: Chapter 221 :iconmattwilson83:mattwilson83 51 9 Light within the Abyss by Mystilik-Mew Light within the Abyss :iconmystilik-mew:Mystilik-Mew 4 2 NHC: Chapter 220 by mattwilson83 NHC: Chapter 220 :iconmattwilson83:mattwilson83 52 22 My brother by greenapplefreak My brother :icongreenapplefreak:greenapplefreak 73 27 Voyager Crewmember Momoko by SirenaUrbana11 Voyager Crewmember Momoko :iconsirenaurbana11:SirenaUrbana11 6 3 Voyager Crewmember Haruka by SirenaUrbana11 Voyager Crewmember Haruka :iconsirenaurbana11:SirenaUrbana11 7 3 Voyager Crewmember Setsuna by SirenaUrbana11 Voyager Crewmember Setsuna :iconsirenaurbana11:SirenaUrbana11 8 1 Voyager Crewmember Hotaru by SirenaUrbana11 Voyager Crewmember Hotaru :iconsirenaurbana11:SirenaUrbana11 8 2 Voyager Crewmember Usagi by SirenaUrbana11 Voyager Crewmember Usagi :iconsirenaurbana11:SirenaUrbana11 13 5

Activity


I admit it, I have a life that is difficult, frustrating, and be lonely and miserable. I have four mental disorders, can't drive, live in a small town, and have very few friends. I have some difficulty each day with something, whether its calculating how much of my fixed income I can spend on food or should I talk to my friends on the phone when there's only a five percent chance they'll answer?

Life is even harder when you have a very toxic relationship with someone you've known all your life. Once long ago you and that person, a member of your family or friend, were so close to one another. They protect you, did things with you and loved you so much. Then you remember the exact moment things changed and you did nothing wrong and tried so hard to fix what was broken.

Despite being yelled at, humiliated, and treated like less than nothing you wanted to fix this relationship. I talked with my therapist and came up with strategies to make sure I didn't get hurt, how to deal with this person, even ways to try make the other person see your point of view. The toxic person doesn't believe anything you say. They only see you one way and its from a  long time ago.

My toxic person thinks they are the only person who matters. That they're always right and anyone who disagrees is an enemy. Even if you like the same thing, but don't see what the other person is talking about they blow up, treating you cruel, pretending they don't remember anything, but then the suddenly remember some slight that was so long ago it doesn't matter. They just love to shout and complain how awful you are, that you never listen to them, you are a know it all snob, that you're the one who acts like a monster.

You've done everything this toxic person wants and more. You apologize for every little think you've done. You remind them that your their friend/family and that you would do anything for them. You let them have whatever they want, never try to speak because their conversational Narcissist. Even online in public domains you never go anywhere in virtual space they claim as yours. You endure them cussing and being rude and blunt, even when you ask them to stop.

Then you realize your hitting a dead horse. That nothing will ever change. That's when everyone around you starts telling you this is how should be.  That you can avoid this person or build up walls. That you can walk away or maybe you should just forgive them and move on with your life. I tell those people I've done all that, but it hasn't stopped the harassment and made things even harder for me.

For example, I stopped communication, but that person refuses to stop calling you even when they're not suppose to have your number. I hit ignore and ignore, but the callls don't stop. My voice mail gets filled with angry screaming messages. Your textbox overfills with with awful text messages describing you as a lot of curse words, cruel names, and talking about how they are better than you. Sometimes when you ignore them, they decide to bother other people, family and friends, until you give in and take that call because you can't stand the fact of other people being hurt.

Others times I find something I like and I try to tell others about it, but this toxic person person goes out of their way to make sure everyone who is interested feels like a idiot. I listen and lose people because all they hear about me is how negative, dumb, and my interests are lame. Other times, they find a way to humiliate you and ruin everything you like about something until you drop interest. Then that toxic person gets what they want and feels powerful.

No one understands. My psychiatrist thinks I'm not trying hard enough to remove myself from this toxic person. My therapist believes that group therapy may help or if it doesn't you need to try the strategies again and again, even if they don't work. My friends all say that I don't deserve to be treated like this nor should I let it bring me down to the point I want to hurt myself. There not here, they can stay safe faraway and aren't around enough to help me. How can I stay strong with no one is backing my corner and helping me not let the voice of doubt win. With no friend to talk about how I feel, because none of them want to hear about my "drama" how am I suppose to let out my feelings in a way that doesn't hurt other? Without friends, how do I escape the pain long enough to feel better?

Then when I do stand up and follow all these suggestions I get, others start telling me how to act, what do, and how to improve my life and make friends in the area so I'm not so lonely that toxic person's voice has wormed its way into my mind. "Go to the YMCA you'll make friends, open up to a neighbor they can be your friend if you try." I do go to the YMCA to work out, but surprise no one talks to you when they work out because they're so focused on their own workout. Did I mention I live in apartment where there's no one  my age and my neighbors are senior citizen woman stuck in their ways or that my neighbor across the hall loves screaming and cussing out her kid every day?

Other suggestion are, "go to local festivals, join events in the community, volunteer more or better yet join a church!" I went to our local summer festivals, I spent far to much money on an event that I didn't enjoy. I hated the music being played, You had to pay a lot to go on any mini rides they had, and the price of food was well out of your range.

How do you join an community even when the only activities listed are ones for little kids, teenagers or senior citizens. I'm too old or to young for anything. I do volunteer, I work at the library as one, but I've done such a good job that I accomplish all the tasks and for months on end there's no need for me. I have nothing against religion, I just worship in my own way and when I attended regular service as a child, well you can't really talk to other kids about that and the adults just comment on your clothing.

At this moment in your life, even things you enjoy become blah for a numerous reasons. I love my therapy animal very much, but sometimes I wish she talked. Books can only take the pain away for so long. I want to practice my clarinet, but the upstairs neighbors stomps on my ceiling until I quit. Its hard to enjoy a movie when your hot beyond hot and you can't turn on the air if you want to keep your electric bill low enough you can afford to pay it. 

So that's me and my life. So many people telling me do this or act like that, you'll be a real adult or you'll make friends. If you give what you like you'll feel much better. Or how can you not be able to do something as simple as get away from a toxic person? Do they know me better than I know myself? Doubtful, but they are still going to order me around
  • Listening to: the birds outside
  • Reading: library book
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
Hi, I am watching this show on Investigation Discovery, ID, called Fear Thy Neighbor. Its all about feuds that get so out of control bad things happened, usually death or injuries beyond repair. I watch it not for the entertainment value, okay maybe a little, but mostly I watch it to learn how not get into a crazy feud and deal with my neighbors in a non confretational manner. Watching these episodes and listening to both sides, you get a general idea of what's the truth through both pairs of eyes. I've noted something about most episodes. Personalities clash and tempers flair, but it looks like if people just sat down and talked they would end up in that situation. Feuds are like mini wars and they show what happens if no one talks. Just think about it okay?
  • Listening to: NA
  • Reading: fanfics
  • Watching: Tv
Today my cat Hinata Romona Shevlin, turned two years old! I got her when she was only eight weeks old from a shelter and I have loved her ever since. She's way different then my previous cat Hotaru, but I like her quarks. She loves sleeping side by side, sometimes she'll run away or cry, until I feed her or open windows. We do play although I have to constantly change it up so she'll play or even look at old toys. We've dove under carpets, played with bubbles, and she loves her laser toy. For her birthday I got her some extra cat treats, fresh catnip, and toy that crunches and crinkles when plays with it. I'm glad she had a nice birthday.
  • Listening to: NA
  • Reading: fanfics
  • Watching: Tv
Hatred, one of the most powerful and dangerous emotions in the world. Hate can come in many forms: words, actions, sometimes even a disease. What causes people to hate so much? Where does it come from? Its fed to us each day, by people, books, and TV. Sometimes its beaten, cut, carveSperd, and burned into people. 

Conversion therapy, people raping others and justifying it in the name of God or to prove how "superior" and "better" then others when their nothing but cowards. Bombings, shootings, murders all in the name of hatred or "Making the world safe for my kind". Funny I thought we were all human, that's what our DNA says.

Hatred is spread for generations and it shows no sign of slowing down. There is to much assumption, stigma, and false beliefs about people. To many get this disease and let it run its course until others have suffered or they kill themselves. Instead of looking for a cure our world leaders are using this to spread more hatred. It has to stop.

Our generation will be the last if this hatred continues. I don't know how, but please talk instead of hit. Learn for yourself what the truth is and don't accept others views with blind fate. Ask yourselves what do you believe if you remove everything that weighs the truth down.  Can you do that?
  • Listening to: NA
  • Reading: fanfics
  • Watching: Tv
Rocco Rachel
Here is my annual birthday picture for my friend Romania Black aka Rachel! This year I decided to with a elegant style of the past and from an important style era in Europe. This new Rocco game on DollDivine was perfect. I chose the color combo of brown, light brown, and tiny bit of orange.  The dress has a sort of shimmer to it and I used the simple lace accents to make certain that the plain dress look to not take away from the natural beauty of the person. The mixing of the hairstyle with ringlets in the back with loose strands on her neck elongate it so you can see the pearls around her neck.

The accessories are simple pearl necklace/bracelet, a pearl/feather head piece, with a noble lady's fan and handkerchief give her a refined appearance.  The tiny bits of orange: the bow, the small fringe on the corset, and the shoes bring out the creative and fun personality hidden behind that smile. The background was chosen to give the picture a natural setting as if she just stepped out of a page of history

I worked hard on this piece because my friend deserves to look extremely beautiful and elegant. I hope she likes this.
Loading...

deviantID

KaliannShevlin
Kali Shevlin
United States
I'm a published author who wants to share with the world how proud of that fact I am. I also want to show how smart and cool I can be.

Current Residence: Illinois
Favourite genre of music: Country
Favourite style of art: abstract
Favourite cartoon character: Gear
Personal Quote: Life is a book that just needs to be written
Interests
I admit it, I have a life that is difficult, frustrating, and be lonely and miserable. I have four mental disorders, can't drive, live in a small town, and have very few friends. I have some difficulty each day with something, whether its calculating how much of my fixed income I can spend on food or should I talk to my friends on the phone when there's only a five percent chance they'll answer?

Life is even harder when you have a very toxic relationship with someone you've known all your life. Once long ago you and that person, a member of your family or friend, were so close to one another. They protect you, did things with you and loved you so much. Then you remember the exact moment things changed and you did nothing wrong and tried so hard to fix what was broken.

Despite being yelled at, humiliated, and treated like less than nothing you wanted to fix this relationship. I talked with my therapist and came up with strategies to make sure I didn't get hurt, how to deal with this person, even ways to try make the other person see your point of view. The toxic person doesn't believe anything you say. They only see you one way and its from a  long time ago.

My toxic person thinks they are the only person who matters. That they're always right and anyone who disagrees is an enemy. Even if you like the same thing, but don't see what the other person is talking about they blow up, treating you cruel, pretending they don't remember anything, but then the suddenly remember some slight that was so long ago it doesn't matter. They just love to shout and complain how awful you are, that you never listen to them, you are a know it all snob, that you're the one who acts like a monster.

You've done everything this toxic person wants and more. You apologize for every little think you've done. You remind them that your their friend/family and that you would do anything for them. You let them have whatever they want, never try to speak because their conversational Narcissist. Even online in public domains you never go anywhere in virtual space they claim as yours. You endure them cussing and being rude and blunt, even when you ask them to stop.

Then you realize your hitting a dead horse. That nothing will ever change. That's when everyone around you starts telling you this is how should be.  That you can avoid this person or build up walls. That you can walk away or maybe you should just forgive them and move on with your life. I tell those people I've done all that, but it hasn't stopped the harassment and made things even harder for me.

For example, I stopped communication, but that person refuses to stop calling you even when they're not suppose to have your number. I hit ignore and ignore, but the callls don't stop. My voice mail gets filled with angry screaming messages. Your textbox overfills with with awful text messages describing you as a lot of curse words, cruel names, and talking about how they are better than you. Sometimes when you ignore them, they decide to bother other people, family and friends, until you give in and take that call because you can't stand the fact of other people being hurt.

Others times I find something I like and I try to tell others about it, but this toxic person person goes out of their way to make sure everyone who is interested feels like a idiot. I listen and lose people because all they hear about me is how negative, dumb, and my interests are lame. Other times, they find a way to humiliate you and ruin everything you like about something until you drop interest. Then that toxic person gets what they want and feels powerful.

No one understands. My psychiatrist thinks I'm not trying hard enough to remove myself from this toxic person. My therapist believes that group therapy may help or if it doesn't you need to try the strategies again and again, even if they don't work. My friends all say that I don't deserve to be treated like this nor should I let it bring me down to the point I want to hurt myself. There not here, they can stay safe faraway and aren't around enough to help me. How can I stay strong with no one is backing my corner and helping me not let the voice of doubt win. With no friend to talk about how I feel, because none of them want to hear about my "drama" how am I suppose to let out my feelings in a way that doesn't hurt other? Without friends, how do I escape the pain long enough to feel better?

Then when I do stand up and follow all these suggestions I get, others start telling me how to act, what do, and how to improve my life and make friends in the area so I'm not so lonely that toxic person's voice has wormed its way into my mind. "Go to the YMCA you'll make friends, open up to a neighbor they can be your friend if you try." I do go to the YMCA to work out, but surprise no one talks to you when they work out because they're so focused on their own workout. Did I mention I live in apartment where there's no one  my age and my neighbors are senior citizen woman stuck in their ways or that my neighbor across the hall loves screaming and cussing out her kid every day?

Other suggestion are, "go to local festivals, join events in the community, volunteer more or better yet join a church!" I went to our local summer festivals, I spent far to much money on an event that I didn't enjoy. I hated the music being played, You had to pay a lot to go on any mini rides they had, and the price of food was well out of your range.

How do you join an community even when the only activities listed are ones for little kids, teenagers or senior citizens. I'm too old or to young for anything. I do volunteer, I work at the library as one, but I've done such a good job that I accomplish all the tasks and for months on end there's no need for me. I have nothing against religion, I just worship in my own way and when I attended regular service as a child, well you can't really talk to other kids about that and the adults just comment on your clothing.

At this moment in your life, even things you enjoy become blah for a numerous reasons. I love my therapy animal very much, but sometimes I wish she talked. Books can only take the pain away for so long. I want to practice my clarinet, but the upstairs neighbors stomps on my ceiling until I quit. Its hard to enjoy a movie when your hot beyond hot and you can't turn on the air if you want to keep your electric bill low enough you can afford to pay it. 

So that's me and my life. So many people telling me do this or act like that, you'll be a real adult or you'll make friends. If you give what you like you'll feel much better. Or how can you not be able to do something as simple as get away from a toxic person? Do they know me better than I know myself? Doubtful, but they are still going to order me around
  • Listening to: the birds outside
  • Reading: library book
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water

Donate

KaliannShevlin has started a donation pool!
35 / 10
I need ten points to pay for future images

You must be logged in to donate.
  • :icongoddessofcelestial:
    GoddessofCelestial
    Donated Dec 21, 2013, 5:59:26 PM
    20
  • :iconromaniablack:
    RomaniaBlack
    Donated Dec 12, 2011, 10:07:07 PM
    14
  • :iconnovalight357:
    Novalight357
    Donated Oct 2, 2011, 1:04:26 AM
    1

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconwilentsia:
Wilentsia Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you for the fav ^_^
Reply
:iconkaliannshevlin:
KaliannShevlin Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2017
you're welcome
Reply
:iconsirenaurbana11:
SirenaUrbana11 Featured By Owner May 31, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi, I finished Part 3 of my Star Trek: Voyager - The Dream Quest story. Have you read it yet?
Reply
:iconkelseyalicia:
Kelseyalicia Featured By Owner May 8, 2017
I've started to watch that girl whose doing those amazing "Another brother" pictures. So here one with Zuko and Sokka in case you wanted to see this one too. Hope you are okay and good luck on your trip. Safe travels. 

My brother by greenapplefreak
Reply
:iconinfernodragonva:
InfernoDragonVA Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
hi
Reply
:iconkaliannshevlin:
KaliannShevlin Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017
Hello
Reply
:iconinfernodragonva:
InfernoDragonVA Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
how r u
Reply
:iconkaliannshevlin:
KaliannShevlin Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017
sad, empty
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: